When I was young, my best friends were trees. I have a vivid memory of being in preschool and spending every recess and lunch break with the honeysuckle bush that reached through the fence into the school yard. I would inhale her nectar, feeling as though honey was being poured into my heart. With her companionship, I felt comforted and protected in a world that felt very alien to me. I felt like I had dropped from the stars and landed in a place where I felt closer to animals and plants than humans. Decades later I would be introduced to flower essences, learning that, among other issues, honeysuckle addresses homesickness and nostalgia.
When I was about eight, a mighty oak tree in our neighborhood was cut down. Watching this happen, I was filled with a deep grief that flooded my entire being. I was inconsolable. This was my first heartbreak and I felt physically sick for days. English was not my native tongue, but I could understand the language of flowers and trees. These first initiations into the natural world lead to my eventual life journey as a healer, interspecies communicator, intuitive channel, and maker of flower essences.
I have always been sensitive, intuitive and empathic. As a child, I couldn't understand why people couldn't see or hear what I could. I often felt as though I were living in multiple dimensional realities simultaneously. In early adulthood I reached a point in my life where it became easier to dismiss these insights in order to fit in. So dismiss my truth I did, and away from my path I strayed. But during my Saturn return, within a period of a few months, everything that defined my identity was gone.
I lost my job, my car, and my apartment. My primary relationship ended. My Grandmother passed away. Friendships were severed. I had to leave my city.
As the saying goes, breakdowns often lead to breakthroughs. In the darkness, I saw that I was at a crossroads. I chose to ask for the grace to surrender and eventually learned to rewrite my story. Through life's ebbs and flows I began the often painful process of remembering--where I came from, what my soul yearned for, who my allies were, what my authentic voice wanted to express. I began listening to my intuition and reconnecting with my true essence. I ascended and descended. I composted. And I learned (and continue to learn) that when we step into a template of empowerment and away from victim consciousness, we become the creators of our own destinies. The veils of separation part and we begin to see our wholeness and our Divinity reflected back to us. Even through the muck and the mud. Even if our spark has dulled. Even if we have abandoned ourselves over and over again . . . we can always find our way back home.
This journey has been anything but linear. But I began to understand what it meant to live in flow, ease, and grace. My energy began to transform. And I started to bring in gratitude for my gifts. My true path began to unfold in front of me and I realized that I hadn't really lost anything, but I had gained perspective.
My journey led me to my work as a healer and a flower essence therapist. I learned a variety of modalities, both body centered and those with a focus on energy. I apprenticed with a shamanic practitioner and participated in various Earth healing practices. As I reconnected with the natural world I spent more time in nature and began using flower essences as a personal support system. I was overjoyed when I started co-creating my own essences. At times I felt these allies from the nature kingdom literally kept me on this earth! Then came the study of visionary craniosacral therapy which has become one of my great loves. I continue to have the honor of studying with amazing teachers and guides in all these fields, both from the seen and unseen world. Almost twenty years later, I am still learning and growing. That will never stop!
I believe we are all here for a reason, and we are all here in the perfect place at the perfect time. It is our choice to see our life circumstances as either holding us back, or propelling us forward and allowing us to grow, heal and transform ourselves and our world. We sometimes lose the trail of our life's journey so that we can find our way back home again. I would be honored to be your guide in the process.
Pay attention. Trust. Surrender. The next step is simply the next step.
"Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I'll meet you there." - Rumi